My personal struggle with self love

Hi Loves,

This is a vulnerable topic for me, and I rarely speak about this with others.

I know I am not the only person who struggled with self love…with accepting my self just the way I am and believe I am worth it.  Did you read that?  I am worth it, being worth is not something I have to do or try to prove or become, it is something that I am it…and so are you.

The goal of this post is to help you in some way to get on your way to self love and self acceptance in any area of your life where you feel you need to.
At the end of this I will say things to you that I wish I heard when I was growing up feeling lost and believing  I wasn’t good enough and no matter what I did the feeling wouldn’t change.

When I was 13 I was diagnosed  with an illness and since then I struggled with my weight and physical appearance and became beyond obsessed with looking the way I thought I should look to the point that I became anorexic and bulimic for years.
The damage this caused to my body was really nothing comparing to the damage that this did to my mind and my soul.

My days were filled with negative thoughts…I missed out so many moments dwelling in self hate and self punishment from the age of 13 to 28…each and everyday I felt unworthy, unlovable, undesired, not good enough, and even disgusting…yes…I believed with every part of my being that I was disgusting.
I don’t have many pictures of myself, and to be honest, I still struggle with taking pictures of myself, so you can see how talking about this makes me feel raw and vulnerable.

This was me, the day I got married and no one knows this until now but I didn’t think I deserved a wedding dress because I was still not skinny enough or beautiful enough to wear one…and even though it was one of the happiest days of my life, that night I cried because I thought I wasn’t thin enough to get my husband’s love.

Here I was 90 pounds thinner than now…and now I see and can’t believe how different my thoughts were. This memories bring tears to my eyes because I was so lost in the self hatred world and the pain I felt daily was so strong and so unnecessary.

A few years after, I had enough and began the self discovery and soul searching journey that completely transformed my life and brought me so much joy and excitement and even though it was a long road of ups and downs, I am not who I was then and I will never go back to feeling so miserable, I changed the self hatred life style to self love life style, and this one feels a billions times better.

( I want to make sure you understand that I am not advocating to be overweight and unhealthy,  in fact, even though I weight way more than back then I am way healthier in many ways. It is all about holistic health, and its about not comparing yourself to anyone or think you should be or act like anyone or have as much as anyone or be like or with  a certain person or do something you are not doing…..it not about we missing something we don’t have to be happy, it about being happy now with how things are and not letting our life slip away thinking it should be another way. )

Loving myself taught me that I am not my body, I am a spiritual being having this experience. It opened me to new deeper levels of understanding, joy and unconditional love for myself and others. All my relationships changed, I finally accepted the love from others, I trusted myself, others and the universe. I am so lucky that I got to see who I really am. My years of depression and anxiety left, my health improved and I got off all my medications, my self confidence and respect increased and I decided to become a life coach, a Reiki Master and Hypnotherapist with the purpose of helping others feel this way…to be the facilitator for others, to give the tools and support and to be of service in this world by being for you and many others  the person I needed and didn’t have.

I can’t even explain with words the amazing feelings and sensations that run through me everyday for the last 3 years, yes, not all day everyday but everyday.

Please, please read this
You are perfect the way you are
You don’t have to change anything to be worthy, you were born this way
You don’t have to look for self love, you are love, love is you
You can’t wait until you lose the weight, gain the promotion, finish something, move somewhere, have more money, heal this or heal that, find the perfect mate, become successful at that, etc
You are divine love and light
Life is beautiful and wants you to enjoy it all
Don’t wait any longer to enjoy everyday of your life
Only you can make yourself happy
If you decide to love and accept yourself right now, the way things are, you will be affecting many many people around you and inspiring them to do so, no matter what’s going on in your life
I promise you self love is the answer and it is way deeper than what we can express.
Please, Love your Self…your life depends on it.

I am blessed to crossed paths with you,
Much love always

 

About The Author

Gabriela Milan

Transformational Lifer Coach, Clinical and Transpersonal Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, Mindfulness Teacher. Cell # 801-604-3767