Do you or someone you know suffer from anger phobia?

If you do, you are not alone…I have it too.
Anger phobia or fear of other’s or self anger creates anxiety and it can also be confused with anxiety.If there is an emotion I don’t like to feel and avoid to feel is anger. I grew up with an angry parent and this affected me. His anger hurt my family in so many different and deep levels. This led me to decide that I was never going to express or feel anger because I didn’t want to hurt anyone not knowing that I was going to be hurting myself.

Have you noticed how anger and anxiety feel almost exactly the same?
Anxiety is just a bunch of trapped emotions wanting to be released.

Here are some sings that tell us we might be fearful of feeling or expressing anger:

  • A feeling of uncontrollable anxiety when you think about or are exposed to anger
  • The feeling that you must do everything possible to avoid anger
  • The inability to function normally because of your anxiety
  • Often, the knowledge that your fears are unreasonable or exaggerated but feeling powerless to control them
  • Obsessive Thoughts
  • Dizziness, shaking, palpitations
  • Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate
  • Sweating
  • Nausea or stomach distress


“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~Buddha

Do you want to know the quickest way to get a handle on your anxiety? Get a hold of your anger.

1. Notice the places in your body where you feel anger.

Ask those body parts to relax. Ask that part of your body questions like Where is this coming from? What do you need? How do I release you in a healthy way?
Listen to your body and be proactive. Sometimes your body will tell you to go on a walk, shower, take a nap, eat something, stretch, cry, etc.

2. Visualize

Imagine the anxiety or the anger leaving your body and floating above you. Find a shape, size, color and texture that represents your anger, fear or anxiety. Visualize changing that shape, color or texture to something different.

3. Make friends with the word “no.”

You don’t have to be a people pleaser anymore. This is about you and your mental and physical health. Choose when you say yes, choose when you say no. If saying yes makes you feel good that moment but causes you stress, sleepless nights, anger or resentment for days after then you should maybe say no?  Ask yourself if you value expressing anger over getting along with others in each situation.

4. Go from anxiety to calm and peaceful with meditation.

Meditate, meditate, meditate…I don’t care which type of meditation you choose, guided, walking, hiking, bathing, hugging a tree, listening to calm music or just breathing deeply for 2 minutes while driving…Meditate…Let it go…Yoga is also great for this.

Try this 4 steps for a week…notice the difference they make in your daily feelings and emotions.
It feels very empowering breathe deeply and admit that yes, I am angry at… and its okay, I am okay, I can go through this emotions and I will be safe and so will everyone around me.

Much love,

About The Author

Gabriela Milan

Transformational Lifer Coach,
Clinical and Transpersonal Hypnotherapist,
Reiki Master, Mindfulness Teacher.
Cell # 801-604-3767